5 Ways to Better Your Relationship Today
We can really make change more complicated than it needs to be and in our relationships that can be even more true. By nature relationships get messy because we are putting two people together to live together who have different personalities, childhoods, stresses, expectations, self-talk, worries, views on the world...I could keep going…but you get my point. With all of the differences, there are 5 really simple ways to get along better that don’t have anything to do with figuring out your differences.
Be Nice. It is really as simple as that. I know that you might be frustrated or fed up with the other person at times but being nice creates a much more welcoming atmosphere to be able to solve problems and be closer to each other.
Do something thoughtful. This life is stressful and there is usually a lot going on. It might be small but do something for your person that you know would make them smile, feel good or would help them out.
Stop expecting perfection. As humans we are really good at pointing out how we are not doing good enough and even better at letting our partner know they aren’t doing enough. Maybe backing off and giving them a break for a bit would help. Have you ever considered that they might be giving all they can right now?
Understand both that emotional and physical intimacy have to be present for either of them to be present. We play this game a lot in relationships of “I will meet your needs physically if you meet my needs emotionally” or “ I can meet your emotional needs unless my physical needs are being met”, yes to both. This isn’t a chicken or the egg situation, the fact is that if you both start giving a little in both areas you can take small steps toward deeper connection with each other.
Look at how you are spending your time. The fact is you both need time to take care of yourselves individually, spend time with each other, have quality time with your kids and have some sort of social life. Are all of those in your calendar? If not, why not? If you do not set aside time to do these things, time will keep happening to you. If your first response is, “I don’t have time.” I suggest you both take a step back and ask yourselves, if you don’t have the time to pour into these things, what happens?
Stop making things so complicated and start with some simple stuff first. If this isn’t helping, it might be time to really do something to make some change. If you find yourself in that place, our team of couples’ therapists are here to support you!
Written by Chantel Landeros, LMFT
Thrive Marriage & Family Counseling
970-812-1292