Change is Not for the Weak
You know what isn’t for the weak?
Change.
This time of year there is a lot of buzz about New Year's resolutions, goals, and high hopes for 2024. While all of those things are amazing to talk about, the doing part is what really gets people. A lot of times I think people really think if they just identify what they want and focus on it, they are going to make things happen. This works for some people but for others it can be much more complicated than that.
If your goal or resolution is something you have said you will do over and over again but just can't get there, have you considered what might be preventing you from getting there? I honestly believe that most of us have some wall that is holding us back from smashing those goals because let's be honest, if there wasn’t a wall, why haven’t you done it already?
We get the privilege in counseling to help clients identify the walls, understand them, where they came from and then how to have power and control of what to do with them now. I can tell you that this is not an easy thing to do. There are horrible stereotypes out there that counseling is for the weak or “crazy” who can’t handle life on their own.
I call BULLSHIT.
There is nothing that is weak about looking at the behavior that doesn’t serve you, getting rid of the stories that you tell yourself that don’t build you up, creating boundaries that help you get to where you want to go and learning new ways to look at life.
So my plea to you is, if you keep hitting a wall, reach out. There is something bigger, something more going on than you just “can’t”, that you aren’t talented enough, or you are a failure. Reaching out doesn’t need to be to a counselor (although I highly recommend it). Maybe it is to a mentor, coach, friend or a support group of people who have gotten where you want to be. But you don’t have to keep kicking yourself for not getting there, you just need to dig deeper and understand yourself better to actually make the change that you want to make.
You can start looking for the barriers by looking a few things:
The way you are talking to yourself
The way you are talking to others
Your routines
How you are taking care of your basic needs
The relationships that you are surrounding yourself with
How much trauma or your childhood experience is effecting the way you see yourself and life in general
The other thing to keep in mind is that change is not quick. When you are making deep, long-lasting change, it is very uncomfortable, hard, and you will have to look at parts of yourself and life you have avoided for a long time. Be prepared to go through the hard to get to your goals, it is usually a “hard” you weren’t expecting.
Our team is always here for support. Reach out when you are ready.
Written by Chantel Landeros, LMFT
Thrive Marriage & Family Counseling
Grand Junction, CO 81505