Intensives: A New Model for Radical Change
What are Couples Intensives?
Good question! Perhaps it’s something you have heard of from a friend, or something you have seen us market. The answer, it's a new view on therapy. One that challenges the traditional model of what therapy should look like. When we think of therapy, we think of sitting down for an hour and diving deep to overcome whatever it is that brought you to be sitting on that coach on that day. Traditional therapy works for so many couples! For others, it can be a frustrating and long process to find the path forward.
The structure of working for an hour at a time comes from appeasing insurance providers. As a therapist, nothing is more frustrating for me than having to allow insurance to define my ramifications for treating couples that are hurting. Let’s face it… we get one hour to work together. The first ten minutes we are spending catching up, allowing us to dive deep for about half an hour, before we need to spend the next ten minutes recapping and planning for our next session. Great for some, but what happens when you have a big life problem? One that feels so overwhelming and daunting that you are stagnant and miserable. Does thirty minutes allow you enough time to work through the issue? Likely not..
I wanted to set out to challenge and change what traditional therapy is for my couples. I began to wonder what it would look like to create a space that was both easier to access with the demands of everyday life, and that would have the most impact on a relationship in the shortest amount of time. The simple answer? Squash the hour model, carve out undivided time for attention to the problem, and dive head first with my couples. The idea of half day, one day, and two day intensives was born.
Perceptions from the therapist:
The ability to take the clock out of the session was powerful from the therapist's chair. It allowed me to not have to be the gatekeeper for the next hour or the next client sitting in the waiting room. I was able to do what I love the most, help struggling couples. All the tools that I have available are able to be given when the moment is right, and when it flows most naturally throughout discussions. I was able to dive really deep, being a part of the relationship and seeing the patterns that are underneath resulting in the conflict that is present.
I noticed the majority of my couples that participated in intensives walked away feeling refreshed in their relationship, having overcome major hurdles that was leaving them stagnant in their everyday life. The foundation of a healthy relationship was repaired, understanding their partner for who they are and how they see the problems surrounding the relationship. I also noticed a new found fondness had reignited within them, for their partner and what they brought to the relationship.
Although my goal as a couples therapist is relationship centered, and my hope is that my couples leave with warm and fuzzies, for some of my couples they learned it was time to say goodbye to the relationship. Although this is immensely painful, I noticed it was still progress for the individuals involved. They were no longer tied to the chains of a relationship with no direction, and uncertainty in how to process the loss.
What’s it like for you?
Oh boy, this process is a rollercoaster of emotion. I wish I could tell you it's all sunshine and rainbows.. but that would not be the truth. You will be tired. You will be raw. You will be exposed to your partner in ways that you perhaps have not been before. Intensives break your relationship down to the fundamental core issues, allowing you to be rebuilt in a way that works for the both of you. To do that, you have to lean into the process of being real and vulnerable before your partner that may have hurt, betrayed, or disconnected from you. Isn’t that the core of emotional intimacy though? Being able to share space with someone that you may have intense emotions toward, someone you may not agree with, but that you are willing to lean into to better understand.
If this sounds like something that you and your partner might benefit from, please reach out. We offer a free consultation to see what intensive option is right for you. Your therapist will then build an intensive experience that is tailored for you and your situation. We currently offer half day, full day, and two day intensives. Longer intensives have the option of being held on a weekend, allowing for just you, your therapist, and an empty office to process through the most difficult parts of your relationship. We are here, you do not have to do this alone.
If you are interested in a free consultation with Ashley Carter, LPC or Chantel Landeros, LMFT you can contact us at:
couplesintensive@thrivemfc.com OR 970-812-0101
You can also learn more here: Professional Couples Counseling Services, Colorado — Thrive Marriage & Family Counseling (thrivemarriagefamilycounseling.com)
——-Written by Ashley Carter, M.A., LPC
Thrive Marriage and Family Counseling
(970) 812-3440