Life is busy, confusing and everyone in the world is doing it differently. The fact that all of our experiences are different really changes a lot about the views that we have of ourselves, others, our relationships and all other things around us.

I could sit down in a room full of people and ask them to define words that we commonly use to describe our wants, desires and needs and I guarantee that every one of them would say something different. Some might have similarities but it would be clear that there are some big differences. These micro differences in words cause a lot of conflict and disconnect for people.  

Let’s try it out. I want you to take a second and think about the word “gratitude”. What words would you use to  describe the word “Gratitude”. How do you express it? How do you know someone else is expressing gratitude?

What comes up for you?

Thankful.

Grateful.

Expressing levels of thanks.

Noticing the efforts of another person.

Being present and aware of the blessings around you.

The good ole’ dictionary definition: “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.”

Honestly, I could keep going off with potential ways to use language to define the word. Here is the point, you could express gratitude in your way and be really sincere about it which will make you feel good about following through with expressing this value. AND it might not mean the same to someone else. 

There are so many words that we use that can hold so much depth and have such a big impact in our worlds. Yet, how often do we take the time to sit down to think about what the word means to us? Or when we are talking to someone, how often do we really break down the words to give the other person the opportunity to deeply know what we mean when we are talking?

Here are some more values/words to consider:

Trust
Love
Safety
Security
Peace
Connection
Joy

So, take some time to think about it, journal about it, talk about it…whatever you have to do. But start creating some depth to your language so that you can really ask people for what you need and really be able to see when people are aligning with your values in a real way.

Written by Chantel Landeros,MS, LMFT

Thrive Marriage & Family Counseling

Grand Junction, Co


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