Summer is Coming! Is it the Right Time for Your Child to Try Therapy?
I am very grateful to be able to work with children and teens as a family therapist. Nothing feels more impactful to me in this role, than to give a child tools at an early age that they can use throughout their life. Many of us parents can see the long-term impact of things we missed out on in our early years, so it is normal for us to worry about how current life events might be impacting our children. How is our divorce impacting our children? My child seems to be getting into a lot of trouble at school and I don’t know why. My child is very quiet and withdrawn, I have no idea what’s going on in their mind. My child seems to struggle making friends, I don’t want them to be lonely. Loving and concerned parents turn to many resources, including therapy, to attempt to support their children. I often see the hope that “talking to someone” will help a child. However unlike adults, children do not have allotted “personal leave” from school and it is challenging to get them to consistent appointments for therapy when they are in school. This can impact the effectiveness of therapy for children. Children need adequate time to meet a therapist and build a relationship of trust before they can really open up and get to the heart of their struggles.
There are two ways to look at that pace of therapy with regard to how much therapy every person may need.
The Maintenance Approach:
This is appropriate for all ages of people, if the individual is relatively self aware and self motivated to make changes in their lives. Many of these maintenance clients enjoy having a neutral-supportive person to check in with periodically. If your child just needs someone they can talk to, a maintenance approach can be a good fit. The schedule for such an approach can be an as-needed scheduling or about once a month. It may take a few consistently scheduled appointments to build a good relationship between the child and the therapist first; however, I have often found that children can appreciate a good check-in with a supportive person on occasion just as much as an adult.
The Consistent or “Change” Approach:
This second scheduling approach is one where there is an identified symptom or problem that needs to be addressed. Perhaps as a parent you are worried that your child might be depressed. Perhaps there have been angry outbursts at home that cannot continue. This is when I would recommend a more consistent scheduling. With any client who hopes to achieve a specific change in therapy, spreading out sessions tends to be less effective. Oftentimes, I see clients trying to save money by spreading sessions out instead of attending regularly (usually one a week). I end up seeing these clients for far more sessions than if they had attended weekly because clients (and probably therapists) struggle to maintain momentum in their growth when the sessions are spread out. The important things discussed in each session get forgotten. The impact becomes stale. When the client returns to session, we have to backtrack to what was discussed in a previous session because those topics are still relevant, but have not been actively addressed over time. For children, it is no different. Their brains can only handle a few key concepts per session. If you want a child to maintain progress in a specific area, they need to attend therapy regularly. Significant change can happen in 4-10 sessions depending on the case if therapy is attended regularly and the client is engaged in the process. Whereas, spreading sessions out over time often lasts years while little to no progress is being made. Oftentimes, it becomes more expensive with less impactful results.
If you are considering enrolling your child in therapy, please consider utilizing their summer break to allow them the opportunity to be regular and consistent in their treatment. You may see significant changes not only because you have the opportunity to bring your child without interrupting school, but also because school may be a factor that interrupts positive change. There can be several environments and relationships that alter a person’s state of growth. During the summer, your child has less to worry about. They have less deadlines to meet. They have less peer pressure and friend related conflict. Summer time is a great time to grow!
If you have interest in therapy for your child, please contact one of our therapists to discuss a therapy plan right for them. We are excited to meet and support your child in their growth.
Written by DD Love, MFTC
Thrive Marriage & Family Counseling
Grand Junction, CO