WHY MARRIAGE COUNSELING?
The thought of marriage counseling or counseling in general has a stigma that can stop you from making the call for help in your life. If you are wondering whether or not, you should reach out for some support for your marriage ask yourself if any of these scenarios apply to you.
You are venting to some friends about your significant other, you are frustrated, annoyed and this continues to be the nature of your conversations with people that you rely on for guidance.
You are sitting on the other side of the house after you and your spouse had ANOTHER fight that got nowhere AGAIN. You feel like you are on this constant roller coaster and nothing is changing.
You feel disconnected. You are having dinner with your spouse looking across the table and feel like you are staring at a stranger. There seems to be nothing to talk about, nothing to share and no spark.
You want to take your relationship to the next level, you know that it can get better than where you are at right now.
You have had a major change in your relationship. A new baby, a parent passed away, a loss of a job, or you just move to a new state.
You haven’t had the sex life you want. You want to feel close and intimate with your spouse. You want to feel wanted and have passion but it just isn’t happening.
You have found out that your spouse has been unfaithful and want to figure out if you can even save your marriage now.
3 ways that Marriage Counseling can help
1) Open Up Communication: When there are troubles in the marriage, often it is hard to know what to talk about or how to bring it up with your partner. Or you have tried bringing it up with little to no success of your partner hearing what you have to say. A marriage counselor provides a neutral space to begin to open up and will help by ask questions, reflecting on thoughts, and guide dialog to action.
2) Neutral Support: Marriage counselors are not in the business of picking sides. The role of the counselor is to equally support both partners. The neutrality of the role of a counselor is different than reaching out to supports you already know. The counselor wants both people in the session to feel heard, supported and that both members have ownership in the situation they are currently in.
3) Tools: Marriage counselors have read the books, trained for many hours and put their whole life focus on relationships. Their tool basket is full of tools to pass off to you to help improve your marriage, life, and personal satisfaction.
Marriage counseling does not have to be in your life forever but going through the process to understand yourself, your partner and your relationship on a deeper level can help solve issues that are preventing you from the relationship you have always dreamed of. If you and your partner are motivated and are tired of the current situation that you find yourselves in, it may be time to reach out and there is nothing wrong with that.
Marriage counseling likely will not be a quick fix. It is going to take time, motivation, dedication and vulnerability to work through the struggles that you are experiencing. The question to ask yourself when you are debating whether to make the call is, “Is my marriage worth the work?”
Written by Chantel Landeros, MS, LMFTC
Thrive Marriage & Family Counseling