Some of us were raised in households where we were taught to think of feelings as a bad thing. “If you’re going to cry, go to your room and do it.” Or maybe you were upset by things out of your control, but your disappointment was called a tantrum and punished while no one took the time to ask why you were upset in the first place.

We have all experienced it. That little voice telling ourselves we are stupid, unworthy, unloved or a failure. Traditional wisdom says to just stop or ignore that negative thinking, but that is way easier said than done – and, frankly, not very helpful. So what does help?

As a couples therapist, I get many people in my office on the verge of ending a marriage or relationship. I can see the defeat and desperation in their face that they just don’t know what to do or how to move forward. Unfortunately, there is no magic formula or answer that can fix any relationship but there are certain things to consider before throwing in the towel. By no means is this list an end all be all but they are just consideration to challenge a different way of thinking.

Conflict is a part of every relationship that you have, you cannot avoid it. No matter your resistance or attempts to avoid the tension of conflict, you will eventually find yourself in a position where it is no longer an option to avoid.

Counseling can be defined as one or more individuals providing assistance and guidance to one or more individuals in order to resolve personal, social, career, or psychological problems. Knowing the definition, however, is not the same as understanding the profession. What kind of guidance and assistance? How does a counselor help with problems? Is counseling a good fit for me?

Romantic relationships are hard work just like any relationship. We have a way of talking about romantic relationships that we don’t in any other relationships in our lives. We talk about lust, being in love, love at first sight, falling IN love, falling OUT of love, and not being in love anymore.

The price tag for therapy can seem overwhelming and intimidating to think about adding in to your budget. Depending on the area you live in and the kind of therapy you are looking for, prices may vary for therapy which means that you should do the research on the therapist, the cost and the type of therapy before committing to someone for therapy.

The price tag for therapy can seem overwhelming and intimidating to think about adding in to your budget. Depending on the area you live in and the kind of therapy you are looking for, prices may vary for therapy which means that you should do the research on the therapist, the cost and the type of therapy before committing to someone for therapy.

Being a part of a family is hard work, like really hard work sometimes. There are so many people that we are connected with whether it is by blood or choice and keeping it all together is a task. We serve many roles in our life and not all of them look or feel the same. Not all of the relationships are healthy or stable at the same time either.

Being a part of a family is hard work, like really hard work sometimes. There are so many people that we are connected with whether it is by blood or choice and keeping it all together is a task. We serve many roles in our life and not all of them look or feel the same. Not all of the relationships are healthy or stable at the same time either.

We have all heard the saying, “Not my monkey, not my problem”, right? It is saying that people use to set boundaries and not take responsibility problems they don’t want to have to deal with. While I think this saying has so much value, I have also not actually come face-to-face with many monkeys in my life.

Relationships are difficult. There is no other way around it. We have many relationships in our life that come easy and others that take a lot of work! We don’t normally talk about or think about having a relationship with ourselves but take a step back and think about it.The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship that you have in your life.

The holidays can be a really hard time for people for a variety of different reasons which can cause this time of year to really get the best of you. There are some things that you just can’t change that cause distress, like missing a loved one who is no longer with you. Grief is hard around the holidays, so this may not be the blog you are looking for if this is what you are experiencing, but it may have tools to help you honor your situation and start building a new story for yourself and your loved one. But the thing I would like to focus on here is putting your energy this season on what you can change or have control of.